HABIT 5 (Part 1) : Seek First to Understand, Then to be Understood: Principles of Mutual Understanding

Every people has a deep desire to be understood by everyone. This sense of wanting to be understood involves all his actions and thoughts. Everyone has their own perception of the world, according to their experience, beliefs, knowledge and values ‚Äč‚Äčadopted so that everyone will have a unique difference in the frame of mind that is sometimes incomprehensible to others.

In understanding the feelings of others, we need to be a good listener. However, we often do not listen well. There are five bad listening styles, among others:

1. Dreamy, listening style where someone who is engaged in conversation daydreaming (floundering) so as not to listen at all what was said by the interlocutor.

2. Pretend listening, the style of a listener who almost ignores what the other person is saying and reply indifferently.

3. Listen selectively, the style of a person who only listens to what he wants to hear and responds to only what parts he or she notices.

4. Listening to words per word, ie someone’s listening style exactly like what the other person says, regardless of body language or true feelings have different meanings.

5. Listening to the self-centered, that is listening style by obeying their own desires and not trying to understand what the other person wants to say. This style often even cause an uncomfortable feeling to the other person. This style of speech is usually characterized by several attitudes, namely judging unilaterally, advising and digging about the state of the other person. This is obviously very unpleasant for the other person.

When we show the attitude above, it is guaranteed that the person who is talking to us will feel unnoticed. A good listening technique is by listening sincerely, what is it? Find in the next article


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